Lets talk about estimated due dates or what I like to call guess dates.
When we meet our OB or midwife for the first prenatal appointment we are keen to know a few things. Mainly, we want to know how far along we are (so that we can begin to share the news) and more importantly when will our little ones make their big arrival. What month and what day exactly… So out comes the little cardboard wheel and gaza it’s decided. The date is noted in your chart and you now have the headline that everyone has been waiting for. The date is shared with anyone and everyone. When people ask, “when are you due?” you can satisfy their curiosity with a precise date.
Fast forward several months…
You are well into your third trimester and your body is in full pregnancy mode. Your “glow” is a topic to be discussed by everyone and your growing belly is literally up for grabs. There is a chance you may be feeling overwhelmed with preparation and appointments, feeling tired from the constant pee breaks and advice everyone seems to think you need. And then, your phone begins to buzz incessantly with concerns, questions and well wishes. “Is the baby here yet?” “Aren’t you due anytime now?” Those naps you’ve been encouraged to take become impossible and suddenly your mother in law is camped out on your doorstep. Well why wouldn’t she be, isn’t your due date right around the corner?
The last few weeks of your pregnancy are spent smiling, nodding and repeating, “why yes it’s nearly time, I’m due (insert exact due date here).” The early signs of labour become the only thing on your mind. Instead of enjoying time with your partner, family and friends, you find yourself on high alert for bloody show and the loss of your mucus plug. When your “due date” comes and goes, as it may, (only 5% of women deliver on their “due dates”) you may feel disappointed. To add to the matter your health care provider points out the obvious, you are in fact “overdue”, like you hadn’t noticed. It’s fair to assume that you may begin to ask yourself why hasn’t labour started, will my baby be huge if it isn’t born tomorrow or am I doing something wrong? At this point you will do nearly anything to get the show on the road. Lunges, squats, marathon walks, climbing flights of stairs, double dutch skipping, and so on. (This may be a slight exaggeration, or not ;)
There is not a healthcare provider out there that likes to see the look of disappointment on a pregnant woman’s face. This leads us to the “overdue menu”, everything from drinking castor oil to an internal sweep. I want to be clear, some of these methods may work and none of them are mandatory but there is a good chance they will be offered to you.
Overdue, what a word!? Your delivery is not like a bill you haven’t paid, or a turkey that has been left in the oven too long, and I can promise that you will not be marked with a red stamp. It is not uncommon for deliveries to occur shortly before or after their intended date. So unless there are any underlying health issues during your pregnancy or in your past let your labour and delivery come as it may.
If this has not been your experience, I am so happy for you. If your sister, friend, cousin, neighbor, coworker or anyone you know is experiencing this I recommend bringing over a casserole or muffins. If you are invited in, be gentle with your questions and don’t overstay your welcome. Advice is welcome, if and only if it is requested.
Rest easy and much love,
Dom